My cat Septimus is five-year-old cranky moose. He demonstrates his mooseness by being a big, solid, 15 lb. boy who never misses a meal. He evinces his crankiness as follows:
- A tendency to nip at one’s ankles (although this habit seems to be in remission, and my ankles are grateful)
- A curious penchant for mewling pathetically for no earthly apparent reason, preferably in the middle of the night
- A proclivity for sitting in the corner, Blair Witch style, and meowing at absolutely nothing (which tendency makes me think that Septimoose can see ghosts)
- A unquenchable thirst for getting into unauthorized things and places
This last characteristic is the most exasperating thing about Septimus. One of his favorite unauthorized things to do is eat and destroy books. His favorite time to do this is in the middle of the night. There are certain bookshelves and books that he seems to prefer; my paperback copies of the Harry Potter books completely lack covers and the first few pages.
Since his preferred time to destroy books is in the wee hours of the night, this means that I am frequently awakened by the worrying sound of tearing paper. I get up, stumbling around, bleary-eyed, trying to make the bookeating STOP so I can get back to sleep. (I do not take kindly to having my sleep disturbed.) And because I am semi-conscious when I am trying to make the bookeating STOP, I take desperate, elaborate, and half-baked measures that look rather ridiculous in the clear light of the morning.
This is how we end up with something like this. It made perfect sense in the middle of the night to drape the bookshelves with a blanket, erect a barricade made of pillows, and then add a pile of clothes to the top for good measure. But now I’m looking at it and wondering: what in the world was I thinking?
And, if you look in the lower right corner, you can see evidence that my efforts were clearly inadequate.
HAHA – look at him in the corner!
That picture is adorable! I’d recommend using the Squirt Gun Method, but around books, and when drowsy…. might not be the best idea! What a naughty cat.
Maybe Septimus thought you built a special book-eating tent?
In the last couple of weeks, I’ve been woken up in the middle of the night to the sounds of mousing in the next room (and once in our room *shudder*). I also employ half-cocked middle-of-the-night solutions in these moment: relocating myself, stuffing towels & rugs under doors so no creatures can enter or exit. Of course I don’t do any of this well enough that it actually holds, and by the time I wake up the doors have been pushed open again. I’m deeply grateful that my cats do not bring mice to me (they’ve deposited the two they’ve caught on the living room floor), so at least I don’t have to worry about that.
Ha, a special book-eating tent! Of course. I’m sure that’s what he thought. And EEEK at mice! I’ll take nocturnal book-eating over mice anyday!